I am Hephzibah because God Holds me near
- Jana Strickler
- Sep 3
- 3 min read
I've been thinking about names we give ourselves, people assign to us, and we decree over others. Those names are powered by our words - words that can either uplift or demolish someone. I do not envy parents choosing a name for their child, because what they choose could either uplift or tear down their kids whether they are aware of it or not.
My parents intended good for me when they chose my name. Jana means 'God graciously gave.' Some days I feel like I'm living up to the name while other days, I have no idea what 'God graciously gave' means, so then I question my life decisions and feel defeated.
I wonder if Peter ever felt defeated after Jesus changed his name from Simon (Hear) to Peter (Rock). Maybe while he walked with Jesus, he felt like a rock - stable and true, but when Jesus was captured and Peter denied Him three times, he probably was devastated. What was the purpose of Jesus changing Peter's name from Simon to Peter? Peter did not live up to his name change - he did not stand true. Shouldn't Jesus have waited until Peter's life transformed from what he was to what he was meant to be after Jesus' resurrection?
I related to Peter's name change dilemma. The Lord changed my name before I was ready to live up to its significance, too. I seriously made the decision to stop watching porn, but I had several failed follow throughs. I failed to resist temptation and afterwards, I felt devastated and defeated. One day after a failed attempt to stay true, I isolated myself in a hot shower and the Lord spoke, I want to give you a name as I did Peter. Your name is Jana, God graciously gave; your Hebrew name is Hephzibah, My delight is in her. You are not forsaken, desolate, or lonely. I delight in you, Hephzibah. You are a crown in My hand, a royal diadem. I know your heart is heavy. In the midst, I delighted in you. Your deeds can't diminish My delight in you.
Like Peter, I was not at my best. I didn't do what I wanted and needed to do. We didn't earn our name change. Peter received his name change because of who Peter would become through Jesus. Jesus looked at Peter and called him forth as the Rock; Jesus called forth the transformation even though Peter wouldn't experience it until later in his life. The name change - the identity - was called forth into reality before Peter was ready to embrace the truth. Likewise, I received Hephzibah before I could believe the Lord delighted in me even in the midst of the addiction. The name had nothing to do with me and my actions - or the lack of - and everything to do with the Lord and His view of me.
I choose to believe the Lord holds me, His delight, near His heart. I am Hephzibah because the Lord called me as such during a time I could not earn anything on my own. My name, like Peter's, was never dependent on me and my actions, but solely on the Lord and His love for me.
Names have power especially names given by the Lord - no one can steal the truth that I am Hephzibah. Not even me.
~ ~ ~Your turn.
Who are you because of God through the letter 'H'?